For the last day or so, I’ve been involved in a discussion with an evangelical Christian gentleman, Neil, regarding this post (read the comments for the full debate). The debate has turned into a discussion about what many Christians say: “The Bible clearly defines marriage as one man and one woman.” This is oft used in protests of homosexuals, and as it pertains to our discussion, the passing of California’s Prop 8 legislation. Putting aside the emotions and numerous side-debates that this discussion can produce, I am after one claim: Does the Bible define marriage in this way? I want to know, because many Christians outright claim that the Bible clearly defines this.
My argument is this: While the Bible most certainly provides examples of a union between one man and one woman, the Bible does not clearly “define” marriage in this sense. To be clear, I would have NO issue with people saying that “the Bible provides examples of unions between one man and one woman. That would be legit to say. My biggest issue is with Christians misquoting the Bible on ANY subject. And since many Christians have a desire to get technical when opposing combating viewpoints, fine, let’s get technical:
The verses that Christians have pointed out to me are these two passages, one from Genesis and one from Christ himself:
Genesis 2:23-25 (from blueletterbible.com)
“And Adam said, this now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
Matthew 19:4-6 (same source):
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made at the beginning made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore hath God joined together, let not man put asunder.”
So this is an example of a union, both physical and spirtual, of man and women. This is a beautiful passage. However, where in this passage does it say “Marriage is between one man and one woman exlusively”? It does not. Now, emotions aside, let me state the following: In this post, I am not making the claim that God approves of gay marriage, I’m not making the claim that it was designed to be that way. I am making the claim that Christians are purposely misrepresenting the Bible and the words of Christ by citing this passage to say somethng it does not.
These passages are beautiful examples, but are not definitions of the topic at hand (if you want to get technical, the topic at hand in the second passage was divorce). If Christians want to claim to what IS in this passage, they should (with equal or greater passion) claim that any man that does NOT leave “father and mother” and marry is sinning against the Lord. Still single? That could be, if you wanted, a case for not doing God’s will.
So while I do appreciate Neil and the others for attempting to use the Bible as a reference, I fail to see how it clearly defines marriage. At best, it provides an example.
Let’s turn to Websters, and examine the difference between the words “definition” and “example.”
The definition of, um, definition:
“1. The act of defining or making definite, distinct, or clear.”
The definition of example:
“1. One of a number of things, or a part of something, taken to show the character of the whole; an instance serving for illustration.”
Providing the example of a union in the Bible is not the same thing as defining exactly what that union is. Let’s look at other, um, examples, of what the difference is between definition and example:
Definition of Worship:
“1. The reverant honor or homage paid to God or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.”
Examples of worship:
- Bowing in prayer at a Luthern church.
- Taking communion at a Baptist church.
- Native Americans dancing in honor of a spirit.
- Wiccans casting a circle to thank the earth at Harvest moon.
Definition of work:
“1. Exertion or effort dedicated to produce or accomplish something; labor, toil.”
Examples of work:
- Laboring in construction in the hot Arizona day to build a house.
- Acting as a server at a restaurant.
- Making telemarketing calls to sell a product or service.
- Me sitting at a coffee shop doing copywriting.
There are some people, usually narrow-minded individuals, who claim that you aren’t “really worshipping” unless you attend a church of an organized religion; house churches and individual Bible study don’t count. There are some people who claim that you aren’t “doing real work” unless it’s back-breaking and sweat-inducing. Sitting at a coffee house typing doesn’t count. To that end, there are some people whom claim that “real marriage” is only between a man and a woman. Gay marriage doesn’t count.
You know what? If any of these people believe any of these things, that’s just fine with me. But just because their personal viewpoint doesn’t hold it as valid doesn’t mean that it is so. My friend Brandon works as a web and software developer; I consider his day of work at the office and in meetings to be just as valid as the day of work that my friend Steve, who works construction, puts in. I am not claiming everything to be relative, but I am claiming that examples fit into the broader catagory of definitions, regardless of your personal preference.
Again, I am not claiming that my view is supreme, I am not claiming that gay marriage is approved by God, I am not trying to convert anyone to my viewpoints. I am merely stating that is dangerous and incorrect to state something as clearly defined fact when it is not a clearly defined fact. When only examples are provided, you cannot deduce a logical, all-inclusive definition from the examples.
There are many other facets of this to discuss, such as the separation of church and state – and religious freedom – that this country was founded on. We could discuss the idea that many literal-interpretation believers like to hit people over the head for not recognizing the authority of the Bible or God when, in reality, these people never claimed to subscribe to that authority. Criticizing someone who does not believe exactly like you do – and who never even claimed to subscribe to those same beliefs – would be the same as getting angry at some random dude on the street because he doesn’t know how to perform brain surgery, when in fact he never claimed to have this knowledge. I do have faith, but I take a very logical approach to that faith, and I realize that there is some room for error and interpretation, especially in a text that’s been handled by hundreds of special-interest groups over the last 2,000 years and interpreted by said groups many times. That’s why they call it faith – if everything about it was provable and logical and written outright with exact definitions, it wouldn’t be “faith.” It would be called “science.” If you are a believer, you have to work on how you view that faith and come to your own conclusions on it – and while you may hold truly to what conclusions you’ve come to (and I hope you do), you still have to recognize that this faith contains variables, and you can’t argue logic and absolutes when accompanied only by examples, ideas, and interpretations as your backbone defense.