The Unpopular Point of View

I first met Chad W. Thompson several months ago while attending one of his lectures at ASU. Chad recently wrote an article for Relevant Magazine — quite a good article at that — that compares the mutant theme in “X-Men” and the non-mutants desire to “cure” the mutants with the public attitudes generally surrounding homosexuality.

While I normally despise Christian articles or sermons that try to parallel or bring themes from pop culture (“Da Vinci Code,” constant analogies of “Superman” to Christ), Chad does bring up on paper some awesome points that occurred to me during the two most recent X-Men films as well.

His senitments are given added credibility that the parellel themes of X-Men and homosexuality were even mentioned by actor Sir Ian McKellan (Magneto in X-Men) at one point during a film festival.

So here I find my self at a bit of indecision. I have always been a bit intrigured, but then a bit suspicious, of Chad’s writings. Being a writer myself, I realize that writers are very seldom in the same mind-set in person as when they write their thoughts on paper, as was the case with our conversation in person and over the phone in Tempe. I am in no hurry to frown upon Chad, because I know he provides hope to several thousands, and there are plenty of other people in this debate to frown upon or even strike upon (Rev. Fred Phelps, to be one).

However Chad seems to imploy a certain philosphy among “ex-gays”, and that philosphy is that “what works for me, must also work for you.” Am I saying this because I did not go down the same path that Chad has? No, not at all. But nor would I ever say that my particular path in life is suitable for everyone. For example, I have a very dear friend in Kansas who is fighting through some issues, and I am there for him in support, but never would I impose my solutions in this problem on him, for the basic principle that *you* have to be happy with where you end up, *you* have to live with yourself, and *you* have to own those choices and their good and bad consequences.

I respect Chad immensely for the choices he has made, the route he is walking, and his undying commitment to our Lord and Savior. However I am at odds with his self-description of being an “ex-gay.” Being a non-practicing homosexual is one thing, being a celibate homosexual is one thing, but no, Chad, holiness and an understanding of Christ’s plans for your life does not turn you straight, you are merely clensed. I believe Christ can clense us, but it is very rarely in His will to fix us. These are two different things, please do not confuse the two.

Finally, many Christians out there and other “ex-gays” support Chad Thomspon immensely for his movement in the Church regarding this issue. However, Chad’s prescription for a homosexual cure through Christ implies that *all* Christian homosexuals must follow the similiar path and achieve similiar results.

This is not accurate. It also causes straight Christians to question the motives and actions of homosexuals who follow Christ yet come to a different conclusion — a different conclusion that an exclusive, monogomous relationship while maintaining worship and service to Christ are acceptable — to be viewed as lesser. Shall we be viewed as less? No. We worship the same God, serve the same God.

Chad and I share the same struggle. We share the same God. But we are different people. We have different purposes. We have reached different perspectives with our Creator on this very sensative issue.

Of Christian homosexual scribes, myself, Chad W. Thompson, Mel White, and Henry Nouwen have all come through various stages of our struggles with roughly the same emotions, but all with different conclusions that Christ has personally led us (and I must thank very open-minded Christian friends Brenden Roe, Jamie Mulhern, and Bradley Hathaway for leading me to these last two authors).

Please understand it is not any of our jobs to judge where the other has landed. It is not any of our jobs to tell you that one way is right. If one of us be wrong, if one of us be mocking the Savior we call upon, that will be brought to the light and I am confident that we will be judged accordingly. Do not be worried about our souls. Instead do what it is that you are called to do, and love, and serve, and be there for the ones who need it, lest you take the seat of God’s authority and assume the knowledge of a solution, and are forever sorry for your atrocities.

You Grow Weaker Now

From the Catholic News Service:

Cardinal Sodano told Italian state television that the Vatican would be following the summit’s progress with “great attention.”

“The Holy See tries to be ’super partes’ (above all parties); it has a universal mission to unite all of humanity,” the cardinal said in the July 24 interview with RAI television.

His remarks echoed Pope Benedict’s July 21 comments that the Vatican tends to leave diplomatic bargaining to other nations “because we do not get involved in politics even if we do everything for peace.”

However, the Vatican supports everything that can facilitate and lead to peace, the pope had said.

The Vatican would like to see results, but again, instead of the Church using its authority and power, it stands limply aside while the Holy Land is engaged in war. There’s a difference between “not being politcally involved” and “neutral” and just being plain afraid, chicken shit of offending some group in the international community … all in an effort to bring about world-wide peace. What these Christians fail to realize is that the Bible that they held so dear never promised peace for Israel, but quite the opposite …. and I would be a bit leary of a pope who could bring about absolute peace to begin with.

So while the land of Abraham and Christ are under attack again, and the world is once again siding against the Jews, the Vatican can continue being aloof and alone “super partes” and then wander why its attendance is down and the faithful are viewed as the weak.  

About A Burning Fire

I’m allowed to discuss this now.  

In a little less then three and a half months, I return to Israel. I have accepted an offer to return to the Promised Land all expenses paid, gratis of an independent film production company out of Phoenix. We will be making a full-length theaterical documentary on the Israeli-Palastenian conflict. We are a crew of four. The previous photojournalist/writer dropped out when Lebannon littered Nazareth and Haifa with bombs. Pansy.

None of the other three have ever been to Israel, thus my presence. This will be the fourth independent film I have worked on, but the first full-length, and the first to be released into theaters (a potential distribution deal is said to be in the works with the same indie-distro-owened-by-a-big-corporate-people whom brought you Showgirls and Kids …. that’s right, Disney!).

Will it be the next Invisible Children or A Closer Walk? Will it be the next The Postman or North? I don’t know … but I don’t care. We will spend three weeks in Israel, Palastine, and the West Bank. Yes, I think that includes Gaza someplace.

Giddyup.

I Read More Maps Than Books

Some of my good friends and I were sitting on the back porch of a Mesa home the other night, a bit after dusk and we had cloves to smoke and bellies full of homemade food, and we were discussing perspectives.

A couple of us, myself included, are “what if?” people. We spend alot of time and reflection looking back at what could have happened had only this or that been different … and I don’t think we look at that with regret as much as we do curiosity. Some other people in the group, myself strongly excluded, look at things with a “so what if what if would have happened? It didn’t.” These people are the ones always looing towards their futures and the possibilities that are out there.

I like to look at things such as my trip to Israel or this job I hold or this relationship I’m in and trace them all back to their origins … the fact that Jamie Mulhern convinved me to go to Israel and that Ryan Lombard introduced me to Brenden Roe who helped me get a job at University of Phoenix or that Carrie at Starbucks introduced me to Justin and how all that came about … and then I like to dissect those events and think about what would have happened if just one of the hundreds of things along the way would have been altered.

As part of my reflection last night and my continual looking back at time, I realized all the places I had been the last six months. Six months ago today I was with Tim Trainor aboard the Queen Mary in Long Beach, bumming around to kill time in Southern California. Three months ago today I was in Haifa, Israel, and took this photo on my first night out on Ben Gurion Street. Two months ago today I was with Justin, Sparkles, and Ryan Larue in downtown Portland, browsing the shelves at Millenium Music.

Good times. I’m also in a bit more reflective of a mood then I usually am because I am working on compiling all of my traveling photographs onto a new photo-displaying software developed by David Mulhern. Right now I am about halfway through loading all the Israeli trip pictures and not even an eighth through the descriptions, and am also making the galleries for Phoenix, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, and Toronto. A feeling and even a scent seem to accompany every picture. And sometimes its hard or interesting to stop at a picture and realize what I didn’t know, what had just recently happened, and what was soon to happen.

Right now I feel on top of it all, but six months from now I will look back on this moment and realize that I was just as lost.

The Neglected Promise

An excerpt from this article, posted on IHT, shows how commited to its citizens the Bush administration became, especially when criticized:

 The U.S. evacuation effort, criticized for a slow start, began what officials called “a dramatic ramp-up” on Wednesday. The State Department, after days of angry grumbling from U.S. nationals and several legislators, had said Tuesday that it was waiving a legal requirement that Americans be billed for evacuation costs.

As one senator pointed out at an agry House the other day, a country that spends billions to search for WMD’s in Iraq can afford to ferry to safety some of its citizens abroad, getting them out of the way of a war that America supports.

And, late, yes, but progress is coming along quite well now:

The U.S.-chartered cruise ship Orient Queen left Beirut on Wednesday with 900 passengers, most of them Americans. The ship and its naval escort left later than expected, as they waited for Americans who had registered to depart but were struggling to reach the port.

On Thursday, as what eventually will be a nine-ship U.S. Navy group swings into operation, at least 2,000 Americans are expected to be picked up; that number is set to double on Friday. The Pentagon said it was contracting for use of a second cruise ship with a capacity of up to 1,200 passengers.

Six big CH-53 helicopters continued to shuttle between Beirut and Cyprus, now carrying more than 200 passengers a day. Officials estimate that more than one-fifth of the 25,000 Americans in Lebanon are trying to leave.

I can just imagine that it’s complete hell over there right now for many on the Lebanese side. I have also heard much criticism of the Israeli government over the constant bombardment of Lebanon, but considering that Hezbollah, which is part of the Lebanese government, started the attacks, let’s not be too hasty to fault the historically default bad guy: the Jews.

Very much shame on the Lebanese and Syrian governments, however, for failing to take measures to stop the carnage in Lebanon. Israeli officials have made it quite clear that they are more then willing to stop the bombing once Hezbollah is disbanded from southern Lebannon, the soldiers are returned to Israel, and the bombings in Haifa cease.

Of course the withdrawal of Hezbollah from southern Lebannon is part of a years old-United Nations resolution to remove the Hezbollah threat from Israel …. a resolution that never got acted upon. So before the international community and Kofi Annan get on their soap box yet again to denounce the actions of the Promised Land, maybe the UN as a whole would first like to keep to the promises it made to help protect Israel in the first place …

… but then we would only have the “good guys” to blame in the latest Middle Eastern War …

Port of Haifa

Again, having been glued to Headline News and CNN when not at work, this morning the news said the Hezbollah fired more rockets into Safed, Tiberias, Nazareth, and Haifa, hitting another building, a bus, and the Bahai Temple Gardens in Haifa.

Also a car bomb detonated in Tel Aviv last night, but only killed the suicide bomber driving the vehicle.

It was amazing to watch the news this morning and see the mass evacuation (the biggest since WW II) of Lebanon by the various countries, taking refugees to Cypress to get away from the conflict. One 21-year old student from New Jersey was interviewed this morning after being rescued by a Norweigan cruise ship, and she was asked by the reporter if she was suprised by the fact that it was the Scandanavians and the Greeks who were rescuing Americans from Beirut, not the U.S. forces. She replied back, “No, I mean, not many of us [Americans in Beirut] expected too much help after the lack of response we saw in New Orleans. Everyone there was talking about how long it took to get people out of New Orleans.”

Then, as if to double-punch the live interview, CNN showed fotage of a White House rep, filmed two days ago, talking about evacuating passport-holders from Beirut: “We got this one, we’re on top of this one. We’re right there and we’re on the front lines of countries getting their people out.” Well so far, all the Americans have been rescued by other countries, including Canada.

I’m sure the whole thing is more complicated then CNN is making it sound, but it seems as if there is the typical red tape of America that hinders more then it helps in times of emergency.

On the other side, Israeli PM Olmert visited Haifa and declared that a cease-fire on the Israeli side will not be accomplished until he can be certain that Israel faces no more threats from Hezbollah.

It’ll be an interesting next few weeks, as we see how much this all develops … at least many of the Jewish/Arab communities around the world, including the community in Haifa, seem to be smart about keeping dialouge open.

We Rode This Train To Haifa (And Other Street Level Views)

I must confess that for the last several days my mind has been on very little else besides Israel. She continues to be attacked and bombed, and in turn she continues to blast away pieces and bits of Lebanon.

I was there two months ago. I met Islamics who had no problem living intermixed with Jews — they just wanted peace. I met Jews who had no problem living intermixed with Islamics — they just wanted peace. They wanted to be in peace in their shared Holy Land and raise the children and live their lives. Sadly, Islamic extremists in the south in Gaza and in the north in Lebanon do not want that peace to exist.

Now it is true that Israel sent the first bombs, damaging the very unstable infrastructure of Lebanon by hitting Beirut International Airport. However, Lebanon was the first aggressor, crossing into northern Israel unprovoked and killing then kidnapping Israeli soldiers. The question that many people are asking, and the question that I pondered for the first couple days, is “Has Israel over-reacted?”

My answer? No. Keep in mind, if the kidnapping was the first attack on Israel, then yes, the bombings of infrastructure and the hard stance of the Israeli Prime Minister would be overreaction, and unfortunately, many leaders of the world are looking at such things that way. Leaders in Greece, France, and Russia have condemned Israeli military action (nevermind the group stance at G8), and even Pope Benedict denounced the Jewish states reactions (nevermind that Pope Benedict, as a youth, bore the Nazi swastika quite willingly).

This one incident though, is not the whole story. After the UN declared that Palastine will be divided into an Arab and Jewish state, and even after the Six Day War and capture of Jerusalem (with the agreement to let Islamic leaders have full charge of Temple Mount affairs), the Islamic regimes demanded more of Israel. Lebanon demanded the withdrawl of the Israeli Defense Force from southern Lebanon, and in 2000, Israel agreed — even going so far as to fly in a United Nations rep to verify that the process had been complete. Israel then withdrew thousands of its own citizens from citizens in the West Bank and Gaza, freely giving the land back over to Palastine as requested. As part of the process, a portion of Gaza became a buffer zone between the two states — a buffer zone given to Gaza that Gaza had in turned filled with missles and tanks to attack Israel.

On top of that, hardly a week passes without a terrorist incident in Israel from the extreme Islamic side. These incidents have always been met with patience and an easy stride from the people of Israel under Sharon and Olmert’s Prime Minister terms, except the latest. Israel has been patient, attempting to work out almost any solution except the surrender of Jerusalem or an all-out end to their very existance; an event that would spell horror and disbursement for Jews equal to the events of the Holocaust.

When watching CNN continuously this weekend, all of the Islamic leaders told the press that the only way to end the conflict is for the Israeli settlers to end their “occupation” and war in “northern Palastine.” They refuse to acknowledge Israel’s right to exist even in passing vocabulary.

Based on the past several years of the terror and heartache that has been brought to a patient Israel, I can no longer say that she is overreacting; I can only watch and hope and pray that she makes the right choices as she pursues her enemies.

This war, this conflict, is a personal one. I am no longer watching the battles of some far away country that I have no connection with. I have flown over its skies, walked its streets, came to love its people; and have drank and cheered on the Tel Aviv basketball team with her soldiers. I have walked through Jeruslaem, sat on the side of the Sea of Gailee.

I see the news fotage of the bombings of apartment buildings in Haifa and I realize that is only a mile from a place that I stayed. I recognize the street corners. I see, broadcasted clear from the Middle East, the bloody platform of a train station in Haifa — the very platform I walked on and waited on so many times on my way to Tel Aviv — and the other bombings in Tiberias, Safed, and Nazareth — and know that I have walked on all those streets and have seen the faces of the people. I can still see the faces of the people.

Finally, there are friends over there that I love. People I have spent time with, shared meals with, stayed in hostels and homes with, and I can only pray for those people.

One of those people offered this description of how to pray for Israel, of which this is a sampling:

Pray for the protection of Israel:
At this moment wicked schemes and plans are being made for terrorism, murder, destruction and war -
Pray that these plans would not be fulfilled – that Israeli Intelligence, Police and Military forces would be alert, effective, sharp and quick to neutralize any plan by Israel’s enemies. Pray for their protection.
Pray that in battle our forces would not lose perspective of the “Image of God”, even in those who passionately desire to destroy Israel.
Pray that in all of Israel’s successes she would not grow proud through her own efforts, forces and power but would humbly see God’s merciful hand of protection.
Media is a powerfully influential tool – pray that as so much focus is on Israel, truth would be revealed and exposed.
Pray for the Believers serving in the Israeli forces, for their protection and effective testimony.

Pray for Israel’s enemies:
First – Pray for the salvation of those in the: Hamas, Hizbulla, Al Qaeeda, Islamic Jihad, Palestine, Iran, Syria, etc, etc.
Second – pray that all their wicked schemes of death and destruction towards Israel and others would be thwarted.
Pray for the Arab Believers in these areas:
Protection
Courage
Boldness
Unity
Fruit
Growth

May we not watch the news and hear of the hardships of others with the calouseness we have chosen to layer on our skin. And even now not only for Israel, but also the victims in yet another tsunami in the Indian Ocean. World of mine.

The Inqusitions of Many (They’re Not Half-Right)

… and the weekend begins. I am celebrating the kickoff of the weekend by sitting in my cubicle, among stacks of unfinished work, well past the clock-out time of 4pm or even the overtime clock-out time of 5pm. I am killing time right now, doing nothing of note for the moment, awaiting my 6:45pm appointment five miles down the street at the Modified. My belly is still full from lunch, Justin is working, no friends are available to hang out with me in Phoenix tonight, and there are no movies around here playing (that I want to see) that fit within my time frame. So, I sit here and browse the internet, finding new blogs to read and catching up on others that I have all but forgotten about.

Last night, I was in Tempe, eating dinner with Brandon and Andrea at Pei Wei. Brandon asked me what was going on (he had been all but uninformed on the last three weeks of my life due to his Pacific Northwest adventure) and I filled him in on my schedule, even though it is regularily monotonous. However, it is a progressively responsible and productive monotonous, not Eleven Hour Plane Ride monotonous. Basically, right now I have some stories to tell and some goals to get to, and I’m not really concerned about making new stories in the meantime. Translation to many people who have asked me “Where’s Jeff in all your recent blog posts? You used to be so open”: I am boring right now, and I like it that way. Nothing different is happening. Brandon commended me on my discipline of late, as he knew some things were important.

But, just so we’re all on the same page, if you’re really interested in what’s going on with my life right now:

- I work 10-11 hours a day at University of Phoenix. I sit in a 6×8 cube with four foot high walls. I am a Finance Counselor, but am interviewing for a couple different positions within the company, as I have been here almost a year. I need to spice it up a little, kind of like a Caucasion’s salsa.

- I often stay 1-3 hours extra each day on top of those 10-11 working hours to do my homework. I am taking online classes, majoring in Information Technology with an emphasis on Visual Communication. This also helps me avoid the five o’clock traffic jam on the I-10, and all the gas-guzzling soccor moms clogging the streets in their SUV’s.

- I am still gay, yes.

- On weekends, I generally work an additional 4 hours overtime on Saturday morning. The rest of Saturday, I am much like you. Sometimes, for kicks, I will get my car washed, buy groceries, do laundry. That sort of thing. My shopping adventure for this weekend begun at Superstition Springs Wal-Mart at 1am last night,  purchasing new work shoes that were desperately needed as well as American Recordings V, the final album from Johnny Cash. The. Most. Fucking. Depressing. Album. Ever.

- Usually on Saturday evenings and most all day on Sundays I plant my fat ass at a coffee shop and work on my book. This is what I meant earlier when I said “I have stories to tell, and am not too concerned with making new stories.” The new book is either entitled Avenue of the Giants or Over Israeli Skies or Peace and Destruction from the Ramparts at Damascus Gate. I haven’t decided which yet.

-I am studying for my .NET certifications. I am studying right now on basic and intermediate SQL love, but then onto the MCSD and MCSE. Yes, I am getting both. I am doing this in addition to my IT classes. The idea is to get another job within my company six months from now or so after I get those certs.

- No, I am not moving to Seattle or Portland right now. Yes, I was offered a job in Seattle making less then I do now with no free school, and yes, Justin and I went to Portland and we both fell in love with the city — for me again, for him the first time. No, neither one of us — schooling wise or finance wise — are ready to move just yet. Right now, my main focus is getting my certs and my degree — the degree for free — while working for a company that I can continually move up in and make more money in the more certs I get. Yes, I dislike Phoenix for the most part and I overtly hate the summers — however, I am in no hurry to quit free schooling and good money here to go get a gig in Seattle where I have to pay for school and struggle to pay my bills. I moved past that. That was called being 19.

-With my loathing of Phoenix firmly implanted into your minds, I am now writing about the city here.

-There are other writing projects. Project Forever (with its horribly un-updated MySpace page) is still existant; and supposedly Tim Trainor is mixing spoken word excerpts from PF’s initial offering, “Churches, Pubs & Hostels.” In other news, Dave Hart and I are still writing a short story compilation on the side of my other book project. Dave is also putting out a new Dreamerswell zine …. go get one, because Dave rocks, damnit.

-I am still apart of Monsuun.

-Maybe, maybe once a week if I’m able, I hang out with my friends Tim, Brandon, Arica (who had a fascinating discussion about why Starbucks baristas ask for the spelling of your name on the cup), Randy and Ryan.

-I make every effort to go and spend time with my grandmother. I don’t get too as often as I would like, but I love her very much and think of her very often. I hope she knows this. My grandmother takes priority over you.

Rockets Hit Haifa, Israel

Say some prayers for Israel and the acts of war that surround them … the Gaza Strip and Palastinian Territories in the south and the Lebananon conflict in the north.

Today some Lebaneese rockets struck Haifa …

The attack came soon after two rockets struck the northern Israeli port of Haifa on a day of spiraling violence and deepening crisis.

Israel Defense Forces said the Haifa rockets came from Lebanon and blamed the strike on Hezbollah, whose guerrillas triggered the violence when they attacked inside Israel on Wednesday, killing eight Israeli soldiers and capturing two more.

Of course, this blast comes after the Israeli Defense Force bombed Beirut International Airport.

I do not believe that the fighting on either side is correct nor beneficial, and if pressed to choose a side, I would most deffinitly side with the Israelies. However, this is hard to watch. The news of rockets bombing Haifa made me sick to my stomach. As many of you know, just two months ago I spent quite a bit of time in Israel, and a good chunk amount of that time in Haifa. I have a friend there, and I also have made many more friends and met even more beautiful people in that city.

I am sure that the people who have deep connections with Lebanon and the city of Beirut feel no differently.

Either way, this is truly a sad and sickening thing to watch. Be on your knees and pray, pray you Jews, Christians, Muslims. Pray and work towards peace to your neighbor you Bah’ai followers, Kaballahist Jews, and Wiccans.

Maybe it is written that Israel will never see peace again.

Once Bitten, Never Shy

 

I feel the need to travel again … to get up and go … I don’t know how much longer I can resist it. Will a trip to Flagstaff do? What about Seattle? I don’t know …

I don’t really want to go London until I have the money and time to really experience then, and even then I’m merely interested in it as a gateway to the rest of Europe.

For some reason, Asia is calling. Tokyo — expensive, yes. But then Taipei, Taiwan and Thailand … so cheap, so cultural, so real.

Can’t. Fucking. Stay. Too much longer.