Sushi (Attempt First Not Withholding, My Love)

Sushi in Phoenix

Next week, to celebrate Independence Day, I am going to begin taking classes at a Japanese market in downtown Phoenix on how to make proper sushi. I would love to eat tuna and salmon sashimi, unagi, rainbow rolls, and squid salad everyday to be quite honest, but the prohibitive price of a daily sushi diet (and as discovered last week, the problem of locating a decent sushi luncheon place in south central) has not made it possible. So yes, I shall take classes and shop at the market often, buying sushi-grade fish sold by the Japanese for the exact purpose of sushi, buy my rolling mat from Cost Plus, and be on my way.

Excerpt (Take It or Love It)

"It is not something I really want to do; most of me could give a damn what Big Red has to say about my father, but I am an actor, a performer, a slummer of life stories and tragic and funny events, a character actor. I want to have a different script to play out right now, but this is the only script handed to me, this ridiculous notion to sly away from friends in Arizona, from friends in Newport, from friends in Laguna and retreat alone to find out more about the prick who walked away from Garden Grove. I don’t want to be forgotten among my peers, among my colleagues, so I must fill this gap in with this script, this hunting. I am doing this for attention, but not for sympathy. Those who would know me would tell me that I am using the script metaphor as a cover to hide my true feelings, and I would tell them they were wrong, so wrong, and sad, sad for thinking that I gave a damn about any of this. These people who are too wrapped up in their day-to-day must live through my own vicarious adventures because they are too chained and too heavy to go out into their soul, out into their world, and have any vicarious adventures of their own; too restrained to explore the deep recesses of their minds so I do it for them! Oh you fucking need me! These people who need me, who applaud me, who laud on me their emotional woes fucking need me to be there and be vulnerable so that they can feel half normal and then I’m here for them and they have the nerve, the endless nerve, to tell me that it’s not like this. By denying my existence as I state it exists they in turn deny yet another part of themselves, and I am left, by default and by this repeated cycle, as being the only one who fully understands themselves! Everyone else is a cast and I hate this — accept what I tell you! Accept what I say as your truth my truth, but do it not for me — no! — do it for yourselves so that you may not become the weak and empty casts of the non-vicarious, the martyrs for your ideals rather then for your dreams — you need me to be weak so that you may feel strong! Otherwise, again, I am the only one who has it all together, and that perfection in sanity is a burden that is not too strong for me to handle, no, but you will miss out on your own perfection, and for that, I will pity you."

–"Destruction and Peace from the Ramparts at Damascus Gate" (formerly Avenue of the Giants), by William J. Nash-McAdam

A Beautiful Find (Part Duex)

Some blessed soul today provided us with real coffee to use in the brewer here in Building 12 at University of Phoenix … it was Peet's Coffee, Major Dickason's Blend. Peet's Coffee is another amazing find in the Pacific Northwest that I discovered in Portland last summer … and that was the same blend I drank there. The taste brought back memories, not that I am craving the Pacific Northwest or anything (I can't say that I am, for fear that Vaughan may find some kind of sick satisfaction).

But that aside, any day in Phoenix goes better with Peet's Coffee, especially over our regular blend from Office Snacks & Fun! Gourmet Snacking Company. And I enjoy the heat. Really.

You Can’t Keep A Secret (if it never was a secret to start)

Currently Listening: "Wait, Wait, Wait" by The Format, "Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't" by Brand New; "The Noose," by A Perfect Circle.  

I have waited sometime to post this, but now that all the Neccessary Ones have been informed, I will gladly inform you of the future — the kind of manical future that most pretend to ignore but can never leave their hearts out of the clouds about — and what I plan to do with it, at least for the next year.

Yes I went to Israel and stood in front of the Wailing Wall and became envious of the Finnish friend I had befriended who was going on to Greece along the Mediterrenean via ferry the following day after we took a train to Haifa. Yes I spent two weeks back in the Valley before riding with Justin in a steel tube at high velocity across the skies to Portland, and yes, as expected, I continued to love Portland and Justin came to love it. We loved the rain, the buildings, the trains, the green, we loved time with friends old and new.

However, I'm not moving, not just yet. I told a few people and they waived off my idea of moving to Seattle or Portland as if they knew it would never come to pass — equatting that with plans to spend time in the English countryside two years ago or flying to Tokyo for Grant's wedding last year — but do away with the naysayers who have withheld the laying down of dreams and plans out of a trite fear that they would never be fulfilled and they would face unsuccess. Woe is them, I would say — pronounce them woefully sorrowful of all they are missing out on by planning and dreaming. I give props to only a few, and the rest I can gladly dismiss. The inactive must always judge the failures of the active. To them: I have already achieved more and seen more then the next five generations of your family will. Therefore – shush! - and do not speak a word.

A Beautiful Find

After my recent post on the new Coffee Rush in Gilbert, Chris emailed me about his site, arizona-coffee.com If you're like me and always looking for a new coffee shop to go to, Chris has done a great job (and is still working hard on it) of compiling a guide to non-chain Arizona coffee shops. You won't find any Starbucks or Coffee Bean's listed here, but rather honest reviews of little-known spots (and which spots have free wi-fi).

And on a related side, I have to wander, how long will Starbucks keep charging for their T-Mobile wi-fi? The charge of $24.99/month (or $9.99 for a day pass!) ceases to be a deal when numerous coffee shops, bars, hotels, deli's and even bookstores are now offering customers the internet for free. Personally, I can't wait for Phoenix to follow the trend of amazing cities like Portland and San Francisco and offer free wifi throughout the entire city.

The Format

The Format's new tour for "Dog Problems" kicks of July 14th at Celebrity Theater in Phoenix … gen admission tickets are $13 … whose with me?

All That You Sense

There is still alot I don't understand, and spiritual things I don't get. I guess we were never meant to know all about it. But sometimes, life, choices, dreams, feelings, seem like a constant battle of good versus evil. There are forces at work that we can't see, there is a spiritualness in all of us that is inwardly conflicted. I have only felt truly free of all of that and truly alive, ironically, while standing inside a tomb carved into a huge rock in Jerusalem.

"And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight…

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme… "

-"Walk On," -U2

The Snobbery Continues …

I seem to have started a building-wide dispute, that has grown quite passionate, because of how the coffee is made. Yes, my coffee snobbery continues. It all started because on Friday afternoon we moved to a new location in our building (we were one of the few from our building who stayed in this building), and several hundred people from another building moved in with us. Because of our new location in the building, we had a new breakroom.

Apparently, the tenants of this other building feel it acceptable to make coffee using only 1 bag … the result is very, very weak coffee that does nothing for me, or the other old-schooler's, who are the hardcore 3-bag coffee drinkers. We seemed to have reached a building-wide resolution in less then 24 hours, thanks to some signs and instructions printed by myself and hung throughout the breakroom, at making coffee with 2 bags.

That was, until, a little old lady who is in her first week crossed out the "2" on all my signs and wrote in marker — in marker! — "1.5" bags. Now, we haave people rising against the previous group concencious made earlier and again lobbying for the 1 bag. In turn, my team has responded with 2.5 bags, just to keep up with the image of the "bitter coffee drinkers."

So, now, I was just informed — we are actually going to have a group meeting about this, and try to reach a general conclusion.

That is one issue — the other issue with the new security guard walking around and closing the blinds on all our windows — that's a different battle for a different day.

Around Town

These past four days have been interesting …. Friday was my birthday, and I turned 24. I have weird feelings about 24, as that is just about the point, from now until my last few days of being 26, that I am now considered in my "mid-twenties." Can we just still call it "early twenties?" Please? To celebrate, my parents went to Huntington Beach sans their birthday boy, and Justin and I went out to dinner at Black Angus. You can't beat the one pound prime rib, cooked rare.

Saturday begun my foray into my second, part-time job, at Hollywood Video as a shift assistant. Monday afternoon ended my foray into my second, part-time job. The pay was way on the low side, but I figured it was easy enough a job, and I was told before hiring that I would be working part time and out of there by closing time, which was midnight. This worked fine, being as how I have to work at University of Phoenix at 7am. Come to find out, I was being scheduled for over 40 hours a week, and the earliest I would be able to get out of there was 1:45, or as I was later told, 2:30am on Monday nights (have to stock Tuesday's new releases before going home). Late hours might be okay for a server job where I'm coming home with $$$ in tips, but those late nights and early mornings with that pay scale wasn't settling it — when no middle ground could be found, I left, but not without logging in 20 hours this weekend alone! I was warned when I left that I burned the "Hollywood Video bridge". Darnit.

Monday was back to work at UoP, and we all settled in to our new cubes on the other side of the building. Exciting stuff. After I left I went to Hollywood Video to speak to my manager in person, but I guess karma caught up with me for quitting without notice and I locked my keys in my car. Unable to plow through with a wire hanger that Justin brought down, AAA finally came (whom I had to ask my mom to call for me, since I left my wallet with my membership number in my car), and I was on my way.

Then I got pulled over for not wearing my seat belt. Luckily, the cop was a friend of mine from firefighter training, so I got off with a warning. Word.